God...
My God...
What this life is...
It's hard.
So hard.
It tears at me, ripping at my mind, my heart.
It longs to take my soul.
My God...
As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death...
Lord...
I'm so scared.
I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go.
I don't know how to deal with all of the questions, with all the answers, with all of the thoughts, the emotions, the endless gnawing in the very pit of my soul, the unbearable burning of this hole in my chest.
And I feel so lost, so helpless as the tides pull me under, farther, time and time and time again.
My God please save me!!
I'm so scared to drown...
Please...
Help.
Please.
For all my wisdom, how foolish I am.
For all my knowledge, how fruitless I am.
For all my strength, how powerless I am.
For all my love, how selfish I am.
For all my passion, how sorrowful I am...
God, my God....
Why?!
Why can I not see the glory of your wisdom, your knowledge, your strength, your love, your passion?
Why is my focus, I...I just can't seem to reign it in...
I stumble, I fall, again and again and again.
And I'm just so tired.
So tired...
My mind, constantly running, thinking, over-thinking, longing to be satisfied, my heart burning and yearning for its passions to be fulfilled, but still I am left lying here face down in the muck and mire of this miserable thing called life.
Alone. All alone.
My God.
Do not save me.
My heart simply cannot take it.
And yet here I stand, spotless.
Still broken, yes, but not destroyed.
Still tired, yes, but not alone.
My heart aches, but it has not yet stopped beating.
My mind spins, but the shadows have not yet overcome it.
My focus, it slowly sharpens, and even now I can see it.
See why. How.
And I feel just a shred of hope. Oh what hope.
I see a promise, a love so unimaginable and breathtaking that I remember what it is to breathe.
And why it is I draw breath.
And I lift my head.
And I walk.
My God, I cannot thank you enough for the focus you have given me, after it has been shifted and clouded for so very long. And that focus, I see, is you and you alone. My Love.
I thought that's what I had been doing, where I had been, and I know that's how I started out, but somehow, somewhere along the way I became selfish, even prideful, my priorities warped to where I was able to lie to myself for so very long. And I'm so sorry, my Love, my God.
But your passion for me never failed, never even faltered. You waited, and you have shown me in the most marvelous of ways how what you are, what you have, is so much better than the plans I had concocted.
And I praise you that still, you fill me with hope. And that your promise still holds true.
I will see love.
Not how I had planned, no.
And certainly not by by own power or ability.
But still.
My heart longs to see its passions fulfilled, and my God I know you have not given me this heart and these passions to watch me self-destruct. I am only human, and this heart you have given me is far too weak to take the love I so desperately desire being stripped from my life. So I pray with all that I am that God, even if you must break my heart, please do not let it shatter. Because that I cannot take.
Please, my God, guard my heart as I so long to guard my love. Continue to pursue me as I continue to pursue my love. And though I do not know why you do, I praise you for continuing to lavish me as I so desire to lavish my love. And I praise you for being my first love, and for giving me a passion, joy, and excitement to share with reckless abandon this love with my love.
And I will praise you.
Be it with tears of joy...
Or tears of sorrow.
And I will praise you in the joy of my sorrow.
Will it be hard? Oh yes, without doubt.
Will I hurt? Probably, at times.
Will I worry? Yeah, a little. But I am just human.
Will I grow weary? Again, I am just human.
Will I fail?
It is quite possible.
And that scares me to death.
But will I lose my passion? I pray never.
Will I lose my focus? My God, please no.
By your grace, and your power alone, I will find my love. As I've already found it in you. And that, I can never lose.
Will it be worth it?
Yes. Oh, yes.
And my God, I pray with all I am that the passions you have embedded in my heart will also fill the heart of my love, so that my love lacks nothing, wants nothing but you and your Love.
And God...thank you for setting me free.
What hope. Oh, what hope.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Disconnect
"It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour.
The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken.
It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare.
All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations.
It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.
There are no ordinary people.
You have never talked to a mere mortal.
Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat.
But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.
This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.
And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner--no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment.
Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses.
If he is your Christian neighbor, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat--the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden."
~From C.S. Lewis's The Weight of Glory
Just how true is this to us?
Is it constantly at the forefront of our minds, influencing our every decision, our every action, our every word, our every relationship, our every moment of our every day?
I doubt it.
Or maybe I'm just weird and entirely disconnected from the normal human experience (which may be true anyways but is besides the point entirely...).
Should it?
Do we Love like this?
Do these thoughts inspire the kind of urgency and passion that is of a hope so gloriously incredible that we cannot hope to contain it, the kind of desperate love that is so unfailingly and relentlessly lavished on us that it would unceasingly overflow from any and every part of our being it can?
This is our joy. And sometimes our shame.
Though this life is barely a flicker, a shimmer, a breath, the severity of its potential consequence cannot be taken lightly. I'm as guilty of it as anyone, if not more so. The reality that our reality is not this temporal existence can seem to be insanity. But the reality is, we cannot ignore this reality, however disconnected from it we are amazed to constantly find ourselves.
In other words, we must open our eyes to the connection that Love has given us to eternity. Because if we can't, or won't, see it, then who will?
We cannot afford to be disconnected from our reality. And neither can those around us afford for us to be so.
We live in a temporal world brimming with immortals. And if we choose to ignore this, we miss the whole point.
At least as far as Love is concerned.
And of course, it does concern anything and everything. Intense.
Love chose this infinitely minuscule portion of eternity to reveal itself. And to give us a chance to have it, to hold it, to show it, to share it. Can we really afford to let life run its course as mere bystanders? Or are we to be the hopeless romantics, the warriors of the Great Romance, the purveyors of a reality that is so much more than the here and now, than what we may have planned for tomorrow but inevitably will crash and burn if we let it. Of a Love so much more than this life can contain.
And it's a great thought to recognize and nod our heads at and say, "Yeah, yeah that's really good," and be moved and excited about for like five minutes and then go on and have totally discarded the notion in less than 24 hours if that. Yeah, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Hey, I'll probably barely remember having written this by the time I wake up in a few hours.
And yet, this is our reality.
How will it shape us?
How will it shape our Love?
"But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours."
Dive Deep.
The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken.
It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare.
All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations.
It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.
There are no ordinary people.
You have never talked to a mere mortal.
Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat.
But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.
This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.
And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner--no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment.
Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses.
If he is your Christian neighbor, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat--the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden."
~From C.S. Lewis's The Weight of Glory
Just how true is this to us?
Is it constantly at the forefront of our minds, influencing our every decision, our every action, our every word, our every relationship, our every moment of our every day?
I doubt it.
Or maybe I'm just weird and entirely disconnected from the normal human experience (which may be true anyways but is besides the point entirely...).
Should it?
Do we Love like this?
Do these thoughts inspire the kind of urgency and passion that is of a hope so gloriously incredible that we cannot hope to contain it, the kind of desperate love that is so unfailingly and relentlessly lavished on us that it would unceasingly overflow from any and every part of our being it can?
This is our joy. And sometimes our shame.
Though this life is barely a flicker, a shimmer, a breath, the severity of its potential consequence cannot be taken lightly. I'm as guilty of it as anyone, if not more so. The reality that our reality is not this temporal existence can seem to be insanity. But the reality is, we cannot ignore this reality, however disconnected from it we are amazed to constantly find ourselves.
In other words, we must open our eyes to the connection that Love has given us to eternity. Because if we can't, or won't, see it, then who will?
We cannot afford to be disconnected from our reality. And neither can those around us afford for us to be so.
We live in a temporal world brimming with immortals. And if we choose to ignore this, we miss the whole point.
At least as far as Love is concerned.
And of course, it does concern anything and everything. Intense.
Love chose this infinitely minuscule portion of eternity to reveal itself. And to give us a chance to have it, to hold it, to show it, to share it. Can we really afford to let life run its course as mere bystanders? Or are we to be the hopeless romantics, the warriors of the Great Romance, the purveyors of a reality that is so much more than the here and now, than what we may have planned for tomorrow but inevitably will crash and burn if we let it. Of a Love so much more than this life can contain.
And it's a great thought to recognize and nod our heads at and say, "Yeah, yeah that's really good," and be moved and excited about for like five minutes and then go on and have totally discarded the notion in less than 24 hours if that. Yeah, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Hey, I'll probably barely remember having written this by the time I wake up in a few hours.
And yet, this is our reality.
How will it shape us?
How will it shape our Love?
"But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours."
Dive Deep.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
What's In a Name
What is "Christianity"?
"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important." C.S. Lewis
I recently posted the script of Not Without Love (The Benediction) from Jimmy Needham's newest album, Not Without Love. And I would first like to say that, like many of the songs on this album, these words alone though brilliant are even more incredible when you hear the passion and urgency woven into the track itself and so I would highly recommend it for your listening pleasure. And while I may very well eventually begin to dissect the spectacular messages behind the words, for now I wish to tackle this single thought, though one of nearly unparalleled importance...
What is "Christianity"?
When you hear that word, when someone calls themselves a "Christian", or even when you call yourself one, what does it even mean, if it has any real meaning at all? What connotations does that title hold, if it really can hold any, and what do you care?
"...I used to be 'gay.' In fact, if I had been published twenty years ago at the height of my gayness, I might have been branded 'The Gay Author.'
"Then things changed. I didn’t change, my happy self remained constant, as did all of what made me merry and carefree and thus I remained quite… well, gay. But the word 'gay; itself began to change until one day it no longer meant happy, but rather 'homosexual.' And once being gay, which only meant 'happy,' I was no longer gay because I am now and always have been happily heterosexual.
"No matter how much anyone might want the term gay to mean what it once did, it’s the hearer of a word, as much as the speaker, who determines any terms real meaning. That’s how words and communication works.
"So the real challenge of being gay today is that I’m not. Although I was at one time and still am quite happy and carefree."
This is a small excerpt from a blog written by author Ted Dekker entitled "The Challenge of Being Gay." And since reading it I have found myself tossing around the idea he presents:
What is Christianity? Really.
Just how much has the term "Christian" changed over the almost two thousand years since it was coined, even in the minds of those who claim it as their own?
Does it still mean "little christs," describing those who though so hopelessly human are filled with such a passion and joy over the incredible things Jesus of Nazareth did when He rocked eternity and turned the world upside down, who would do anything, even die, to follow Him with all they have, all they are, and to show those around them just how awesome His Love is?
Is it an outline of a certain political affiliation or agenda, a level of fanaticism, bigotry, or even straight out insanity?
Is it an illustration of lives so deeply and radically impacted by the Love of a most incredibly awesome God that they will sacrifice so much in life in order to give that life for His brilliant plan, His brilliant Love?
Is it a group of people who never have any fun? Who never really get to experience life and all of it's pleasures? Aren't they just denying their basic humanity, and really what sense does that make?
Or is it simply useful for letting others know what we do on Sunday mornings every once in a while? Maybe even a "Get Out of Hell Free" card.
How have you allowed your conception of Christians and Christianity to form? On how and where you grew up, on who you've known, on what you've heard, read, seen, on what others say? Have you ever delved into the true nature of these notions? Do you even know where to start?
And all those different types of Christianity? Catholic, Protestant, Methodist, Lutheran, Baptist, Assemblies of God, Pentecostal, Episcopal, Presbyterian...the list goes on and on...and what does it all mean? Are they even really at any level the same Church they are called and called to be in their Bible?
Is this word really any more than just another word to be tossed around?
More than "all zeal but no joy."
More than a list of do's and don'ts, than a resume of good deeds.
Rest in eternal security.
Hope in a God truly big enough.
Or is the whole thing just insanity?
Is it a title that those who truly consider themselves to be followers of Jesus can be wholly proud of? One they can have hope in because of its meaning?
Because really, if anything, this thing should mean hope, shouldn't it?
Because really, shouldn't it begin and end with Jesus?
Not with the people we've know, or the experiences we've had.
Not because of what our parents or some preacher has said or done, all of whom are just as human as we are.
Not because some man felt it his duty to stand on his soap box proclaiming that you must choose to either believe or burn in Hell.
But because of the one from who this whole thing came about in the first place.
Jesus.
And what an incredible hope that would be. What joy. What Love!
Because really, it's all about Love. And Love is not a four-letter word.
So what do you think? Is this name something the followers of Jesus can have hope and joy in? Something they can be proud of?
Or do we need to come up with something new, something we don't have to cringe over every time it's mentioned out in the real world?
What is "Christianity"? Really.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Dive Deep.
"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important." C.S. Lewis
I recently posted the script of Not Without Love (The Benediction) from Jimmy Needham's newest album, Not Without Love. And I would first like to say that, like many of the songs on this album, these words alone though brilliant are even more incredible when you hear the passion and urgency woven into the track itself and so I would highly recommend it for your listening pleasure. And while I may very well eventually begin to dissect the spectacular messages behind the words, for now I wish to tackle this single thought, though one of nearly unparalleled importance...
What is "Christianity"?
When you hear that word, when someone calls themselves a "Christian", or even when you call yourself one, what does it even mean, if it has any real meaning at all? What connotations does that title hold, if it really can hold any, and what do you care?
"...I used to be 'gay.' In fact, if I had been published twenty years ago at the height of my gayness, I might have been branded 'The Gay Author.'
"Then things changed. I didn’t change, my happy self remained constant, as did all of what made me merry and carefree and thus I remained quite… well, gay. But the word 'gay; itself began to change until one day it no longer meant happy, but rather 'homosexual.' And once being gay, which only meant 'happy,' I was no longer gay because I am now and always have been happily heterosexual.
"No matter how much anyone might want the term gay to mean what it once did, it’s the hearer of a word, as much as the speaker, who determines any terms real meaning. That’s how words and communication works.
"So the real challenge of being gay today is that I’m not. Although I was at one time and still am quite happy and carefree."
This is a small excerpt from a blog written by author Ted Dekker entitled "The Challenge of Being Gay." And since reading it I have found myself tossing around the idea he presents:
What is Christianity? Really.
Just how much has the term "Christian" changed over the almost two thousand years since it was coined, even in the minds of those who claim it as their own?
Does it still mean "little christs," describing those who though so hopelessly human are filled with such a passion and joy over the incredible things Jesus of Nazareth did when He rocked eternity and turned the world upside down, who would do anything, even die, to follow Him with all they have, all they are, and to show those around them just how awesome His Love is?
Is it an outline of a certain political affiliation or agenda, a level of fanaticism, bigotry, or even straight out insanity?
Is it an illustration of lives so deeply and radically impacted by the Love of a most incredibly awesome God that they will sacrifice so much in life in order to give that life for His brilliant plan, His brilliant Love?
Is it a group of people who never have any fun? Who never really get to experience life and all of it's pleasures? Aren't they just denying their basic humanity, and really what sense does that make?
Or is it simply useful for letting others know what we do on Sunday mornings every once in a while? Maybe even a "Get Out of Hell Free" card.
How have you allowed your conception of Christians and Christianity to form? On how and where you grew up, on who you've known, on what you've heard, read, seen, on what others say? Have you ever delved into the true nature of these notions? Do you even know where to start?
And all those different types of Christianity? Catholic, Protestant, Methodist, Lutheran, Baptist, Assemblies of God, Pentecostal, Episcopal, Presbyterian...the list goes on and on...and what does it all mean? Are they even really at any level the same Church they are called and called to be in their Bible?
Is this word really any more than just another word to be tossed around?
More than "all zeal but no joy."
More than a list of do's and don'ts, than a resume of good deeds.
Rest in eternal security.
Hope in a God truly big enough.
Or is the whole thing just insanity?
Is it a title that those who truly consider themselves to be followers of Jesus can be wholly proud of? One they can have hope in because of its meaning?
Because really, if anything, this thing should mean hope, shouldn't it?
Because really, shouldn't it begin and end with Jesus?
Not with the people we've know, or the experiences we've had.
Not because of what our parents or some preacher has said or done, all of whom are just as human as we are.
Not because some man felt it his duty to stand on his soap box proclaiming that you must choose to either believe or burn in Hell.
But because of the one from who this whole thing came about in the first place.
Jesus.
And what an incredible hope that would be. What joy. What Love!
Because really, it's all about Love. And Love is not a four-letter word.
So what do you think? Is this name something the followers of Jesus can have hope and joy in? Something they can be proud of?
Or do we need to come up with something new, something we don't have to cringe over every time it's mentioned out in the real world?
What is "Christianity"? Really.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Dive Deep.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Not Without Love
I tried Lord...
I tried Lord...
I tried hard to be Your good little boy
Chin up, head high
All zeal but no joy
Thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus
Boy, was I wrong
Though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
And it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease
A life spent wanting to please
On hands and knees
To make right, to appease
God help me please
This can’t be Christianity,
It can’t be
The whole thing’s like insanity
Where’s the rest of eternal security?
Where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang-ups and insecurities?
Certainly this isn’t breathing
My chest burning and heaving
It’s like my, my pulse is ceasing
Like my heart quits beating...
Yet this I recall to mind and therefore I have hope:
You died, Lord...
You died, Lord.
Assuredly, like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
Drowning out my bitter songs
And breaking through walls and barriers
Christ swoops in,
Removes sin,
Picks up His bride and carries her
So I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:
There’s only one thing that pleases the Father
The God-man on the tree
In the midst of the scoffers
Now I finally see
That Christ is
What Christ offers
And I’m finally free
In the love of the Father
Not Without Love (The Benediction)- Jimmy Needham
Dive Deep.
I tried Lord...
I tried hard to be Your good little boy
Chin up, head high
All zeal but no joy
Thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus
Boy, was I wrong
Though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
And it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease
A life spent wanting to please
On hands and knees
To make right, to appease
God help me please
This can’t be Christianity,
It can’t be
The whole thing’s like insanity
Where’s the rest of eternal security?
Where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang-ups and insecurities?
Certainly this isn’t breathing
My chest burning and heaving
It’s like my, my pulse is ceasing
Like my heart quits beating...
Yet this I recall to mind and therefore I have hope:
You died, Lord...
You died, Lord.
Assuredly, like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
Drowning out my bitter songs
And breaking through walls and barriers
Christ swoops in,
Removes sin,
Picks up His bride and carries her
So I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:
There’s only one thing that pleases the Father
The God-man on the tree
In the midst of the scoffers
Now I finally see
That Christ is
What Christ offers
And I’m finally free
In the love of the Father
Not Without Love (The Benediction)- Jimmy Needham
Dive Deep.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Oh to Joy
"Each heart knows its own bitterness..."
This world sucks.
Why can't life just be easy? Why can't things just go right? Why does it seem like any time we finally to a point in our day to day experience where find happiness, joy, love, where things finally start looking like they're going to be amazing for once, there just has to be some sort of balance where life completely and utterly reeks. One week of joy, one month of pain and misery and frustration. And endless cycle that just absolutely sucks.
Sound familiar?
Have you ever stopped to think about the concept of darkness? What it truly is, its nature, the hows and ifs and whys. I find it interesting that we have developed the phrase, "swallowed up by the darkness," as if darkness itself had the power to overthrow the light. But I now present an interesting concept...the fact that darkness has no such power whatsoever. In reality, how is it we measure darkness but by the absence of light? For that is exactly what the dark is: the absence of light. Likewise, what is evil but an absence and utter abandonment of good? What makes a demon a demon, compared to an angel? Are they not, or at least were they not, exactly the same creature, one choosing to wholly reject the love of its creator and the other fully embracing it? The list goes on and on...I could probably write a book on such concepts...but really I'm just babbling.
This is not really my point.
How many of us have felt burden, hardship, abandonment, despair, pain that makes you wish you could simply reach in and rip your heart to shreds because at least if you're going down doing so wouldn't be so slow and agonizing? Absolutely Broken. Trapped in the tunnel...
I'm talking about sorrow.
"Each heart knows its own bitterness..."
We all feel it. We all hate it. But why? Why, why, why must we be confined to this endless, bitter cycle of up and down and around and around and around? Even those of us who have found the hope in the sacrifice of Jesus, we are far from exempt. I once heard a speaker who described how before we come to know Him, so often we find ourselves dealing with our troubles like we're simply plugging holes in a bursting dam, but every time we stick our finger in one spout another pops out to replace it! And so though we seem content to endlessly fill in hole after whole, we never solve the honest issue. That the dam is bursting. There is something more than surface-level instability, and the whole structure is about to explode. So we come to Jesus, and He totally restores us, from the inside out. We draw near to Him and He repairs us...but then, why do those of us who do hold so tightly and so truly to who He is and what He does feel so alone? So broken? So full of sorrow? Weren't we repaired already?
But still, this isn't really my point. I'm not here to explain away why the world is how it is and why life can be so simply miserable. Many have tried, and really what can I, by adding mere words to the cacophony already thundering, do?
So a thought to try and tie it all together...
What is sorrow, but the absence of joy?
We sense something missing, something totally askew to what the promises of our Savior hold, something that should be there, but just isn't. We know joy. We found it when we found Him. And yet, still...
Bitterness. Anger. Despair.
It just doesn't make sense.
But maybe it doesn't have to.
At least not to us.
I mean really, we believe that one Man, who lived thousands of years ago, lived, died, and by His own power rose from the dead, thereby obliterated Death, Hell, and the grave, and became the perfect sacrifice needed in order to obliterated the depravity of mankind and reconnect us with the Father. One man.
One man. Changed Everything.
Now that's just crazy. I can fully understand why someone would say that makes absolutely no sense in the slightest way imaginable.
But that's okay. Because Love is just crazy like that.
So then, where do we find this joy that is so absent that it leaves behind nothing but sorrow, nothing but that endless cycle of fleeting happiness and furious pain?
But then, I guess I already answered that question.
We know joy. We found it when we found Him.
And what hope we have in that!!
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12
And to think that our hope cannot be crushed by any power that has ever been or ever will be!
Yes, this world sucks. It's messed up, breaking apart and it feels like it's going everything it can to take us with it. But no matter the pain, no matter the heartache, no matter the mistakes, we do have joy.
My very existence, every single minute aspect of my life itself, is completely and utterly an illustration of how the love God has for His people so far overpowers the devastation sin can wreak when we make mistakes, when the world is falling apart. I am the very result of a mistake my parents made twenty years ago. I was a prime opportunity for sin to inject hopelessness, pain, and grief, and to potentially destroy the lives of two of God's beloved. And yet now that I have come to realize this truth I can see that every blessing, every time I have been spared, and every time I have not, every heartache I have survived, and each one I still bear, every trial I have endured, and those I still have yet to, every moment I even draw another breath, and even when I cannot, it is the direct result of God's unimaginable, irrefutable, undeniable Love totally shattering any hope for the havoc and pain sin so greatly wishes to dish out to have any sort of place for those He so desperately loves and purses and those who purse Him in return.
And if you think that's not something to be joyful about, then I cannot help you. Because I know for me, I could not be the man I am today, could not be filled with the passion and insatiable desire to love and be loved without the hope that this has brought me, without that joy. Without that Love. What hope I have to know that the very purpose of my life is to be a very real picture of the Love God has for His people in their darkest moments, and the hope and joy they can and still do have!
We just have to remember.
"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
~ John 3:16
When the tunnel is closing in around us, someone has already pierced the darkness.
"And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. "
1 John 5:14
When we stumble and fall, someone has already borne our wounds.
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance." Romans 5:3
When the decadence of the world is trying so desperately to tear us down, someone has already repaired us and given us a home in an impenetrable fortress.
"O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge."
Psalm 62:8
When those around us cause us pain, headaches, heartaches, tears,someone has loved us beyond any ability of the human mind to imagine.
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." Psalm 37:23
When we feel like we simply cannot go on, someone has already carried our burdens, and placed others around us to encourage us, drag us back to our feet, and support us along the path.
"We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy..." Colossians 1:11
When we want nothing more than to curl up in a ball and die, someone has already destroyed Death and all his friends.
"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." Romans 12:12
We just have to remember: we have hope. We have joy. Joy beyond any capacity to be contained.
"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. " 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Remember that joy. Remember that hope.
Will we never feel sorrow? Doubt it. Will we never feel pain, heartache? Not in this life. You're naive to think otherwise and I'd be a liar of the worst kind to say otherwise
But because of the pure joy that already consumes our hearts, we cannot and will not be consumed by that sorrow and bitterness.
As long as we remember.
And as a last little tidbit, I would like to add that you are never alone. I am here. I have no doubt that there are those around you who are truly with you and would drop anything and everything to help you through anything you need. And He is here. Always. So just ask any of us. All of us.
And just remember that hope.
"Each heart knows its own bitterness...and no one else can share it's joy." Prov 14:10
Dive Deep
This world sucks.
Why can't life just be easy? Why can't things just go right? Why does it seem like any time we finally to a point in our day to day experience where find happiness, joy, love, where things finally start looking like they're going to be amazing for once, there just has to be some sort of balance where life completely and utterly reeks. One week of joy, one month of pain and misery and frustration. And endless cycle that just absolutely sucks.
Sound familiar?
Have you ever stopped to think about the concept of darkness? What it truly is, its nature, the hows and ifs and whys. I find it interesting that we have developed the phrase, "swallowed up by the darkness," as if darkness itself had the power to overthrow the light. But I now present an interesting concept...the fact that darkness has no such power whatsoever. In reality, how is it we measure darkness but by the absence of light? For that is exactly what the dark is: the absence of light. Likewise, what is evil but an absence and utter abandonment of good? What makes a demon a demon, compared to an angel? Are they not, or at least were they not, exactly the same creature, one choosing to wholly reject the love of its creator and the other fully embracing it? The list goes on and on...I could probably write a book on such concepts...but really I'm just babbling.
This is not really my point.
How many of us have felt burden, hardship, abandonment, despair, pain that makes you wish you could simply reach in and rip your heart to shreds because at least if you're going down doing so wouldn't be so slow and agonizing? Absolutely Broken. Trapped in the tunnel...
I'm talking about sorrow.
"Each heart knows its own bitterness..."
We all feel it. We all hate it. But why? Why, why, why must we be confined to this endless, bitter cycle of up and down and around and around and around? Even those of us who have found the hope in the sacrifice of Jesus, we are far from exempt. I once heard a speaker who described how before we come to know Him, so often we find ourselves dealing with our troubles like we're simply plugging holes in a bursting dam, but every time we stick our finger in one spout another pops out to replace it! And so though we seem content to endlessly fill in hole after whole, we never solve the honest issue. That the dam is bursting. There is something more than surface-level instability, and the whole structure is about to explode. So we come to Jesus, and He totally restores us, from the inside out. We draw near to Him and He repairs us...but then, why do those of us who do hold so tightly and so truly to who He is and what He does feel so alone? So broken? So full of sorrow? Weren't we repaired already?
But still, this isn't really my point. I'm not here to explain away why the world is how it is and why life can be so simply miserable. Many have tried, and really what can I, by adding mere words to the cacophony already thundering, do?
So a thought to try and tie it all together...
What is sorrow, but the absence of joy?
We sense something missing, something totally askew to what the promises of our Savior hold, something that should be there, but just isn't. We know joy. We found it when we found Him. And yet, still...
Bitterness. Anger. Despair.
It just doesn't make sense.
But maybe it doesn't have to.
At least not to us.
I mean really, we believe that one Man, who lived thousands of years ago, lived, died, and by His own power rose from the dead, thereby obliterated Death, Hell, and the grave, and became the perfect sacrifice needed in order to obliterated the depravity of mankind and reconnect us with the Father. One man.
One man. Changed Everything.
Now that's just crazy. I can fully understand why someone would say that makes absolutely no sense in the slightest way imaginable.
But that's okay. Because Love is just crazy like that.
So then, where do we find this joy that is so absent that it leaves behind nothing but sorrow, nothing but that endless cycle of fleeting happiness and furious pain?
But then, I guess I already answered that question.
We know joy. We found it when we found Him.
And what hope we have in that!!
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12
And to think that our hope cannot be crushed by any power that has ever been or ever will be!
Yes, this world sucks. It's messed up, breaking apart and it feels like it's going everything it can to take us with it. But no matter the pain, no matter the heartache, no matter the mistakes, we do have joy.
My very existence, every single minute aspect of my life itself, is completely and utterly an illustration of how the love God has for His people so far overpowers the devastation sin can wreak when we make mistakes, when the world is falling apart. I am the very result of a mistake my parents made twenty years ago. I was a prime opportunity for sin to inject hopelessness, pain, and grief, and to potentially destroy the lives of two of God's beloved. And yet now that I have come to realize this truth I can see that every blessing, every time I have been spared, and every time I have not, every heartache I have survived, and each one I still bear, every trial I have endured, and those I still have yet to, every moment I even draw another breath, and even when I cannot, it is the direct result of God's unimaginable, irrefutable, undeniable Love totally shattering any hope for the havoc and pain sin so greatly wishes to dish out to have any sort of place for those He so desperately loves and purses and those who purse Him in return.
And if you think that's not something to be joyful about, then I cannot help you. Because I know for me, I could not be the man I am today, could not be filled with the passion and insatiable desire to love and be loved without the hope that this has brought me, without that joy. Without that Love. What hope I have to know that the very purpose of my life is to be a very real picture of the Love God has for His people in their darkest moments, and the hope and joy they can and still do have!
We just have to remember.
"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
~ John 3:16
When the tunnel is closing in around us, someone has already pierced the darkness.
"And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. "
1 John 5:14
When we stumble and fall, someone has already borne our wounds.
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance." Romans 5:3
When the decadence of the world is trying so desperately to tear us down, someone has already repaired us and given us a home in an impenetrable fortress.
"O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge."
Psalm 62:8
When those around us cause us pain, headaches, heartaches, tears,someone has loved us beyond any ability of the human mind to imagine.
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." Psalm 37:23
When we feel like we simply cannot go on, someone has already carried our burdens, and placed others around us to encourage us, drag us back to our feet, and support us along the path.
"We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy..." Colossians 1:11
When we want nothing more than to curl up in a ball and die, someone has already destroyed Death and all his friends.
"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." Romans 12:12
We just have to remember: we have hope. We have joy. Joy beyond any capacity to be contained.
"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. " 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Remember that joy. Remember that hope.
Will we never feel sorrow? Doubt it. Will we never feel pain, heartache? Not in this life. You're naive to think otherwise and I'd be a liar of the worst kind to say otherwise
But because of the pure joy that already consumes our hearts, we cannot and will not be consumed by that sorrow and bitterness.
As long as we remember.
And as a last little tidbit, I would like to add that you are never alone. I am here. I have no doubt that there are those around you who are truly with you and would drop anything and everything to help you through anything you need. And He is here. Always. So just ask any of us. All of us.
And just remember that hope.
"Each heart knows its own bitterness...and no one else can share it's joy." Prov 14:10
Dive Deep
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