A Fool Among Fools

I am a fool. It is a recognition I have recently discovered and one that quite possibly may have the potential to be one of the most profound realizations any person may find themselves facing. And ironically this recognition is not in any way negative or debasing, but an opportunity to turn suffering into blessing, pain into joy. Foolishness into wisdom. To learn. To grow. This is what I mean...

Foolishness is an inherent component of the human condition. We are imperfect, depraved, prone to conduct ourselves in manners which only cause pain and suffering to ourselves and those around us; this is what allows us to learn and grow. I mean honestly, how often do we absolutely insist on learning the "hard way", indulging in our foolishness in hopes of reaping wisdom by our own means. But also how many times do we enter a situation, feeling so confident, so "ready", it sometimes even seeming like God Himself has reached down and placed something so good and great right into your hands, only to see it through and have it seemingly snatched away without even realizing what just happened. I mean, it was so good, so right, and yet the same God who had given has now taken! And here is where our foolishness bears itself for all to see. We cry out, we lash out, we blame, we criticize, we act rashly and foolishly and even just plain stupidly; we wonder why a God who is supposed to be so loving and caring and who is supposedly always looking out for us, who promised that He "causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose," would do something like this to us.

But that's just the thing.

He doesn't do it to us. He does it for us.

In our foolishness, we often cannot wrap our minds around the fact that truly all things do work together for good. Whether it is because of emotions or lack of understanding or whatever, whether we see it as a direct cause of something we have chosen to do or just another part of life, we find it so hard to believe that what is happening is really so good. Another great paradox. Sometimes we have to be hurt in order to really grow. This truth is everywhere: a field burned in order to nurture the soil and allow even more abundant life than before; a muscle broken down in order to build it back up even stronger than it was; allowing a doctor to cut into a body, to intentionally harm, in order to heal. In our foolishness, we are allowed to heal, to learn, to grow, returning even stronger than before. It is when we realize this, and the fact that we are fools, that we don't know everything, that no matter how much we believe ourselves to be ready we never really are at least not by ourselves within our own capacity, that foolishness begins to translate to wisdom. Our foolishness is a curse, yes, but also a blessing when looked at from the correct perspective. And the wisdom that comes with the realization that we are nothing but fools is a great thing to have, for there we find peace.

Peace with confliction. Peace within confliction.

And this is good. This is the good. Learning. Growing. Harvesting wisdom that perhaps we could not have had sown any other way.

I am but a fool. But I know my Maker is using my foolishness, my imperfection, my rashness, even my stupidity, to mold me, teach me, make me the man He has designed me to be.

I know I am a fool; I don't know all there is to know about this life and the interactions and relationships I will form and cherish and neither will I ever. But in my foolishness I have been blessed to have a God who will always be teaching me, even if when I cry out to Him it seems as though He has disappeared. Because yes, it will undoubtedly stretch my limited capacity for patience to its utter limits as time is an ingredient of unknown measure that is sometimes unfortunately essential to the process. Yes, it will test my composition and character and fortitude and willingness and obedience. But isn't that the point. Because He knows. He always does, because He is no fool. But as I am a fool, I can learn. And I am content with my foolishness. Sometimes we just have to search in spite of our foolishness to find that good. The good. Sometimes we have to dive deep. And it may burn, there is no question of that. We have to use our foolishness and whatever connotation and consequences that may bring with it in order to find wisdom. Otherwise what are we but fools wading in foolishness and hopelessness. And we are given this choice: to act as fools and fools only, or to strive to be more than such. And this choice is ours and ours alone. For love is the consistent underlying purpose behind it all, and without a choice love cannot exist. But that's a whole other spiel entirely (and oh how I so look forward to it!).

Peace within confliction.

I am a fool.

Originally Posted 5/29/08