Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Oh How He Loves

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us, oh.

He is jealous for me.
Loves like a hurricane
I am but a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.

Yeah He Loves us
Oh how He Loves us.
Oh how He Loves us!!!

Oh how He Loves!!!!

We are His portion and HE is our prize!
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking...

Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss
And my heart it turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

Oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us, oh

Yeah He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves

Yeah He Loves us
Oh how He Loves us
How He Loves us

Oh how He Loves us so


Thank you God, for loving even me.
I love you, with all that I am.





Song "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCunuL58odQ

Monday, May 3, 2010

Background Noise

It's always there.

We all have it.

In our lives.

In our minds.

At work.

At school.

At home.

All around us.

No matter what we do.

No matter where we go.

It goes with us.

A constant soundtrack to our existence.



Background noise.



It comes in many different forms.

It may even be uniquely different for every person.

It certainly affects us all differently.

But if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that it affects us.

In fact, some of us would hardly know what to do without it.

And not even just sound, but any type of visual noise as well.

Whether it be music, television, radio, phones, computers, or even just an endless stream of thoughts in the back of the mind.

Or something we really can't even seem to explain.

Even when there isn't anything really going on, there's always something.

Somewhere, some sort of background noise.

Do we even know what it would be like without it?

With real, true, utter silence...

Silence.

Just imagine that for a moment.

Stopping absolutely everything.

Everything that goes on in the world around us.

Nothing but nothing.

Silence.

Could we do it?

Could we stop it?

Could we handle it?

Can we really even imagine it?

And if we could imagine it, even experience it, can we imagine what might happen in that silence...

What might we hear, even in the silence...

If you don't know anything about the Bible, let me just say one thing about it. It's absolutely stuffed with crazy ridiculous absolutely awesomely amazing stories. Stories about an incredible awesome loving God. And one of those stories involves a guy named Elijah, a prophet of the Most High God.

Now Elijah was at the time the last of the prophets of God, as the rest had been slaughtered, and had just finished up the showdown of the century with the prophets of this hunk of wood called Baal. Basically how it went down was the prophets of Baal begged and pleaded and cried and danced and even bled themselves, trying to get some lousy inanimate object to send fire from heaven and burn up a sacrificial bull on their altar. Elijah tried to help them out a bit, suggesting that they should try to be a little louder, since maybe Baal just couldn't hear them, that he was sleeping or preoccupied or on vacation or something like that. And so they danced and screamed and shouted and bled some more. As you might expect, they all just ended up wearing themselves out. Not the best of days for those guys.

Eventually, Elijah got tired of goading them on and (talk about cocky) had his sacrifice and the wood it was on doused in water, so much so that the trench he had dug around the altar ended up filling up as well. In case you don't follow the irony of the whole situation, wet things don't exactly burn too well.

And then he prayed.

And then this massive fireball flew down from the sky, totally incinerating every last molecule of bull, wood, stone, soil, and water.

Yeah, even the rocks of the altar and the dirt around it got fried. And not just fried, absolutely obliterated. By fire.

Talk about crazy.

And then what happens next? Oh yeah, some crazy queen tries to get him killed, and Elijah is off like a rocket to hide in the desert. I mean, wouldn't you too?

Here's the really interesting part that I'm trying to get at though. Now Elijah had been though a lot. So much in fact,that he actually even asked for God to let him die out there. This was a guy who was worn out, beaten down.

Tired. So tired.

So Elijah is out in the desert, had been wandering around for weeks, and God tells him to go up on this mountain. Because guess what? The Lord Himself is about to pass by here.

Whoa.

So Elijah climbs on up, preparing himself...

And then out of nowhere this massive wind tears through, ripping apart mountains and shattering rocks, sending them flying everywhere.

But God isn't there. He's not in the wind.

And then there's this ridiculous earthquake, and more of the same chaos ensues.

But still, no God.

And as if that wasn't enough, this crazy fire starts raging around, totally engulfing everything. You've got to wonder what Elijah was thinking was up by this point.

Because still, God wasn't in the fire either.

Then he heard it.

A gentle whisper.

And that's when Elijah went out and spoke to God Himself.

Now, there's actually a bit of discussion about what that " gentle whisper" really means in the original Hebrew it was first written in. In fact, there's the idea that the word for it really means complete, total, utter...

Silence.

So this is where I raise the question...

What kind of affect would it have on our lives if we were to let the winds calm, the earthquakes subside, the fires fizzle out, the noise to just stop?

What if we were able to just sit there in the silence...and listen...

I mean honestly, think about what it would be like to not have or make any noise at all. Can we do that...and if we can are we able to do so without any feelings of discomfort or just plain weirdness? What is it that makes silence so...awkward? We have to tap our foot or drum our fingers, clear our throats, hum some sort of sound. Think of something, anything to say.

Something, anything to break the silence.

But what if we got rid of all the distraction, all of the insanity that is life as we know it, if were somehow able to just stop ourselves, our minds, for even a moment? What if we could turn down the volume, tune out the static, and really,truly, listen to the silence? And what if it actually became a regular part of our routine?

To just stop.

To just sit.

To just listen.

What might we hear in the silence?

Is there a connection between the amount of noise in our lives and our inability to hear God?
~Rob Bell

Who might show up in that silence...

Dive Deep

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Same Old Same Old

I tried Lord...

I tried Lord...

I tried hard to be Your good little boy
Chin up, head high
All zeal but no joy
Thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus

Boy, was I wrong

Though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
And it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease
A life spent wanting to please
On hands and knees
To make right, to appease
God help me please
This can’t be Christianity,
It can’t be
The whole thing’s like insanity
Where’s the rest of eternal security?
Where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang-ups and insecurities?
Certainly this isn’t breathing
My chest burning and heaving
It’s like my, my pulse is ceasing
Like my heart quits beating...


Yet this I recall to mind and therefore I have hope:

You died, Lord...

You died, Lord.

Assuredly, like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
Drowning out my bitter songs
And breaking through walls and barriers
Christ swoops in,
Removes sin,
Picks up His bride and carries her
So I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:

There’s only one thing that pleases the Father

The God-man on the tree
In the midst of the scoffers

Now I finally see
That Christ is
What Christ offers
And I’m finally free
In the love of the Father

Not Without Love (The Benediction)- Jimmy Needham

...

It's been over a year since I first posted that here. Half as long since I last wrote.
I know it's been a while.
Trust me I know, exactly how long.

So much is different.
Me.
Even you, I have no doubt.
Life in general and all the junk and joys that it has thrown our ways, constantly keeping us in a state of raging fluidity. Mentally, emotionally, even down to our very identity.

And yet this thing is the same.
Love.

Ever read the Old Testament? Yeah it's kind of long, to a lot of people even boring, but try just flipping through it some time (Psalm 78 is pretty good refresher of the basic gist of things). You know, whenever I used to hear or read about way back when, I always wondered how in the world they always forgot. When the people so blatantly had these ridiculously incredible acts of God happening right before their eyes, when He seemed to be constantly warning them of one calamity or another coming because of their sin, their forgetfulness, even going to the extent of causing such calamities just to get their attention. And then one way or another He would swoop down to save them! Yet it seems like every time a new paragraph came around they were forgetting completely! And off they'd be, getting into trouble again, sinning and worshiping idols and the like, and God would send them a judge or a prophet and save their backsides again. And then, infallibly, they forgot. Even in just a generation's time.

"You of this generation, consider the word of the LORD:
'Have I been a desert to Israel
or a land of great darkness?
Why do my people say, "We are free to roam;
we will come to you no more"?

"Does a maiden forget her jewelry,
a bride her wedding ornaments?
Yet my people have forgotten me,
days without number."

~Jeremiah 2:31-32

And yet how blind I was not to see that the story is still the same, from Genesis and beyond.

I mean honestly, can you not say that more often than not it takes little more than a month, a week, a day for us to forget oh so quickly what awesome things our awesome God has done for us? To lose hold of that passion and focus and drive to be all out crazy for Him and what He's done and what He's doing. I'll be the first to admit this. I'm nothing if not a prime example. And what's even more fascinating is that, more often than not, it isn't even on purpose.

I mean life is busy, crazy even. We don't mean to forget.
But it happens. Life happens. Is to be human, no?

I found this saved in some deep dark corner of cyberspace, something I wrote just for me in a time that apparently just the sort of thing I'm trying to describe. Now, not all of us have this kind of reaction, and certainly not all the time, but in this moment I have a shred of insight into my mind for us. So try if nothing else to get the background feel for what's going on in these words I wrote really not all that long ago.

...

Is this me?

The man, the child, the hopeless wreak who wants nothing more but to see and show the reckless abandon of the love of his God, to be the man he feels inside wishing to burst forth and show the world what has happened to him, what he has truly become, not what circumstances or people or anything else have him currently portrayed to be, trying to be, acting, it all feels so temporal, fake even, not the man my awesome God has transformed me into and is continuing to shape and form with His miraculous love, I just want to be that man, to be real, for everyone to see the passion that has enraptured my every everything, every fiber of my being, all I am, my heart and soul, just wishing to burst forth,

My God please let it burst forth! Like the rushing of the floods of heaven being poured out on Your earth, on your people, God please shatter this wretched cursed mask

Show me, show them, what is behind that shattered mask.

You.

Your love.

Shatter me my God. Please.

Let me see Your love again, let me feel it. Please.

You've taught me so much. Now please don't let me go, don't let me let it go, to forget even for a second the incredible things You've shown me, taught me. Please.

Passion, love, everything You are and are making me.

Please show me, show them, what is behind the shattered mask.

...

Now here also is a bit of the background behind why the address of my blog is as it is. Behind the Shattered Mask. But back to my point.

Hopefully in reading this you were able to catch a sort of tone set. Especially in this age of instantaneity, with basically everything we could desire of this world at our fingertips, and yet where the object of our desires and satisfaction is constantly shifting, how easily do our minds shift, do we just kind of lose focus, do we forget?

And yet their God was the same.
And yet our God is the same.
And yet this One is the same.
Love.

He never forgets. Never loses focus. He can never be distracted.
He just loves us that much.

How great is that?

That the God, Creator, of the universe would wish to focus all of his attention on us. Us.
Even if, and when, we forget.
He never changes, and neither do His desires for us, the plans He wishes to bring to such beautiful fruition in our lives. And oh what brilliant plans they are.

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." ~James 1:17

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that even in our forgetfulness, always remember.

Even in our forgetfulness, He is faithful. Love is faithful.
And how much more so when we are down on our knees begging for His Love to save us, to rescue us, when we abandon all else and surrender to His Love. When we do remember. For we are His people. And He never forgets.

"I love you, O LORD, my strength.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.

Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.
He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.

He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.

He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.

Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

The LORD thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.

He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies ,
great bolts of lightning and routed them.

The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, O LORD,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.

They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.

He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me."
~Psalm 18:1-19

Whoa.

Dive Deep.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

That's My King


My King was born King.
The Bible says He’s a Seven Way King.
He’s the King of the Jews – that’s a racial King.
He’s the King of Israel – that’s a National King.
He’s the King of righteousness.
He’s the King of the ages.
He’s the King of Heaven.
He’s the King of glory.
He’s the King of kings and He is the Lord of lords.

Now that’s my King.

Well I wonder if you know Him. Do you know Him?
Don’t try to mislead me. Do you know my King?

David said the Heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament shows His handiwork.

My King is the only one whom there are no means of measure can define His limitless love.
No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shoreless supplies.
No barriers can hinder Him from pouring out His blessing.
Well, well, He’s enduringly strong.
He’s entirely sincere.
He’s eternally steadfast.
He’s immortally graceful.
He’s imperially powerful.
He’s impartially merciful.
That’s my King.

He’s God’s Son.
He’s the sinner’s Savior.
He’s the centerpiece of civilization.
He stands alone in Himself.
He’s honest.
He’s unique.
He’s unparalleled.
He’s unprecedented.
He’s supreme.
He’s pre-eminent.
Well, He’s the loftiest idea in literature.
He’s the highest personality in philosophy.
He’s the supreme problem in high criticism.
He’s the fundamental doctrine of proved theology.
He’s the carnal necessity of spiritual religion.
That’s my King.

He’s the miracle of the age.
He’s the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him.
Well, He’s the only one able to supply all of our needs simultaneously.
He supplies strength for the weak.
He’s available for the tempted and the tried.
He sympathizes and He saves.
He’s a strong God and He guides.
He heals the sick.
He cleanses the lepers.
He forgives sinners.
He discharges debtors.
He delivers the captives.
He defends the feeble.
He blesses the young.
He serves the unfortunate.
He regards the aged.
He rewards the diligent and He beautifies the meek.

Do you know Him?

Well, my King is the key of knowledge.
He’s the wellspring of wisdom.
He’s the doorway of deliverance.
He’s the pathway of peace.
He’s the roadway of righteousness.
He’s the highway of holiness.
He’s the gateway of glory.
He’s the master of the mighty.
He’s the captain of the conquerors.
He’s the head of the heroes.
He’s the leader of the legislatures.
He’s the overseer of the overcomers.
He’s the governor of governors.
He’s the prince of princes.
He’s the King of kings and He’s the Lord of lords.

That’s my King. Yeah. Yeah.
That’s my King. My King, yeah.

His office is manifold.
His promise is sure.
His light is matchless.
His goodness is limitless.
His mercy is everlasting.
His love never changes.
His Word is enough.
His grace is sufficient.
His reign is righteous.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Well. I wish I could describe Him to you, but He’s indescribable. He’s indescribable. Yes.
He’s incomprehensible.
He’s invincible.
He’s irresistible.

I’m coming to tell you, the heavens of heavens cannot contain Him, let alone a man explaining Him.
You can’t get Him out of your mind.
You can’t get Him off of your hands.
You can’t outlive Him and you can’t live without Him.

Well, Pharisees couldn’t stand Him, but they found out they couldn’t stop Him.
Pilot couldn’t find any fault in Him.
The witnesses couldn’t get their testimonies to agree.
Herod couldn’t kill Him.
Death couldn’t handle Him and the grave couldn’t hold Him.
That’s my King. Yeah.

He always has been and He always will be.
I’m talking about He had no predecessor and He’ll have no successor.
There’s nobody before Him and there’ll be nobody after Him.
You can’t impeach Him and He’s not going to resign.
That’s my King!
That’s my King!

Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory.
Well, all the power belongs to my King.
We’re around here talking about black power and white power and green power, but it’s God’s power. Thine is the power. Yeah.
And the glory.
We try to get prestige and honor and glory for ourselves, but the glory is all His. Yes. Thine is the Kingdom and the power and glory, forever and ever and ever and ever.
How long is that? And ever and ever and ever and ever.
And when you get through with all of the evers, then,

Amen.

That's My King
S.M. Lockridge, 1976

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Intolerant ("Welcome to Reality" Part II)

Are we confined to the purpose of wallowing in the misery of the despair of the world around us? Or maybe more applicable to many of us, even simply disconnect from it, choosing instead to live lives in a simple little bubble of work, play, school, and church, with people around us who agree with us, or at least tolerate us from time to time? And our priorities include only that which will not stress the edges of that bubble, or make us uncomfortable, or challenge our pride and lofty opinions. Things that are pleasurable, though ultimately superficial and meaningless in the grand scheme of this thing we have defined as reality, not to mention eternity. But really in the bubble how often do we truly attempt to understand the implications of this reality, eternity, or the consequences we can or may induce in either.

Sure, maybe we'll expand the bubble every once in a while to include another person or two, or conform it to meet the needs of a situation, but really do we ever dare to even think of a world outside that bubble? No, of course not, we must instead be content with the way things are, giving nothing but a glance to those who are not within but our deepest of confidences, though really how deep are even they, being more of mere acquaintances with those we call our friends, because really who has the time or desire to actually invest in a person, to actually know them truly. And I mean more than a handshake or a hug or a "Hey how's it going" and five or ten seconds of attention once or twice a week.

And that is absolutely despicable!

Yet, this is the world so many of us live in. Notice I use the word "us", not to exclude myself by any means, and I'll even go so far and be so bold to say that this is a tendency often enjoyed or at least expressed by the members of the BCM of Western Kentucky University, of which I am also a part of, and in which there are several people I very deeply respect and those who do not entertain such habits as the ones I speak of. But humor me as I make a few perhaps dangerous though curious generalizations. And before you get offended, perhaps you could examine yourself and hear me out. Perhaps you are experiencing these feelings of sharp defense because I am indeed about to threaten the stability of your own bubble.

But who would dare to pop our cozy little bubbles and maybe take a chance for once, to have a little faith? I'm as guilty of this as anyone, if not moreso. But does it make it any less true when I say Love cannot be confined to the little worlds of our own creation we choose to contentedly live and indeed cower in, and in fact I would go so far to say Love despises such things. Yes, people are different; this is inevitable. But can we not take a firm grasp on reality, on Love, cast aside our prejudices, our high and mighty, holier than thou mindsets, our opinions, our pride, our compromises, and even our own fear of being discovered to be what we really are behind all of the walls and masks and just say

My God! Please, please, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Let my lips speak only that which you wish your people to hear. Let me be Yours and Yours alone, and let Your Love be the only thing I long for, and the only thing shown in me because it truly is the only thing that is in me.

Can we cast aside everything we have set to be our priorities, and instead let nothing but this reality of Love to be a priority. Because really in the face of this stark reality, nothing even holds up to be second, third, or even on the list. Now, I'm not saying we should all drop everything and rush over to the deepest, darkest regions of the world to preach the Word. Yes, we must live our lives, go to school, to work, handle our responsibilities, but what could these things become when Love is let loose? Blessings, through which Love explodes! Love doesn't just take over our priorities when we choose it; it envelops everything we are and have to use it bless others and even us.

What could we become when we allow our comfy, pathetic bubbles to be popped, and actually invest in others, getting beyond the surface into what is, dare I say it, uncomfortable? Risky? Will we shy away because of what we might expose ourselves to be? Or will we trust that the same Love in us is doing a miraculous work in those around us as well?

Would we dare to draw attention to ourselves? To be different? To raise our hands and say no I don't agree and this is why. To stand out from the crowd instead of flowing with it as we are so inclined to do? To be uncompromising, unflinching, unwilling to back down because of the joy, hope, and power of the Love running rampant in and through us?

To be set apart, as we are called to be?

All because Love is what it is.

Can we possibly, finally, rise to the challenge of truly being the people of the one whose name we bear?

Will we be Christians?

Can we read the Bible, the very words the God we claim to love has given us, and believe it? And act on it? Without compromise? Can we love others without accepting the sin they refuse to let go of, or will we instead hesitate and rationalize for them? Often because of our own discomfort or willingness to tackle the hard questions of life...or fear of being labeled as close minded, intolerant, prejudiced, and bigoted.

I hate that word, "tolerance," by the way, simply because of the massive cop-out it has become, though let me qualify that statement before you think of me in any way hateful. But when did Love become an excuse for the depravity we wish to wallow in? When did we decide to sacrifice truth so that everyone is happy? Truth should not be compromised because people start to squirm in their chairs! There is a very significant difference between loving others and stamping a bug "OK" on everything they do. Must we allow sin, and at I'm sure major risk to myself and the respect of several of you I say such as homosexuality, to become wholly accepted at the dread of being called "intolerant"?

So does that mean Jesus was intolerant, a bigot? Because He refused to compromise for those that could not recognize their sin for what it was? Last time I checked, there were plenty of unhappy people around wherever He went, people who didn't want to get over their own self pronounced piety, and they ended up killing Him for it! Yes, He went to people who needed Him and His Love, His grace, and forgave them. But didn't He also say, "Go and sin no more"?

We are a church of failures, of fools, of flat out messed up people, of sinners. Sinners saved by grace. And yet this does not excuse the actions of others, and especially not our own actions! That the people of God, the ones who bear His very name, would dare to make excuses for the things the One who saved them despises is in itself despicable.

We as humans may be no better than that. And yet we are called to be better than that. Humans saved by grace. And transformed by Love.

So will we realize this stark reality and all of it’s implications?

Will we be wholeheartedly decide to be intolerant of ourselves, our own self proclaimed piety, our bubbles, our compromise, and just Love? And can we confront the hard things in life, and the things in those we Love, because we do indeed Love them?

What would this even look like, to dare to get out of our bubbles? Maybe it's a spontaneous call to just talk. Maybe it's a risk to trust at one's own personal risk and confide in another. Or even to sit down and ask, and genuinely be interested, invest, and listen to what another is going through. Or to lovingly confront. Or to talk about something you've been struggling with, or one of those simply hard questions in life. Or to just joke around, be ourselves with people we never thought we would. Or to stand out from popular opinion and ideas. Or to disagree with the things another is saying because it simply isn't right. Or to run the risk of being looked down on, even laughed or sneered at, disdained, for standing up for simple truths. You all are smart, creative people, I'm sure you can think of something and you sure don't need me for that. But I would challenge you to simply dare to not be comfortable. And to truly Love others. Those who are our brothers and sisters in the one whose name we bear, Jesus, so that He may be proud of us. And those who He so longs to wrap in His arms and lavish with His Love, those who are lost, so that He may proud of us. But most importantly, so that we may Love, and so let others know that they may know Love.

I don't claim to have all the answers; i could never hope to find or give them all, especially where Love is concerned. But then I guess that's why we aren't expected to find or know or give them all. And I guess that's why they call it faith.

"And these three remain: faith, hope, and Love. And the greatest of these is Love."

Please, do not be offended by anything I have said, though if such a thing suits you feel free to be so as long as it truly, honestly makes you think. Though indeed, much of what I have touched on are tendencies every one of us, just being humans, have dealt with and most likely will continue to deal with, so keep such things in mind. But if I made you uncomfortable in any way, well good! Call me harsh, but I meant to be, because comfort is overrated and certainly not required or really even a part of the lives we should be living outside of these bubbles that should not exist. Life is uncomfortable, is hard. If you haven't seen that then you need to start questioning where you've been living.

If you do have any questions or comments please feel free to offer your thoughts. I'm just one guy, and a lot of what I just said is probably confused and disconnected, and I am fully aware there is a lot there, but I would love to hear another perspective as the basic idea presented here is one we could all do to ponder a little longer.

And more than ponder, perhaps even do something about.

Dive Deep.

Stark ("Welcome to Reality" Part I)

So what really is this thing called reality?

Now before I go any further, don't think that I've lost it completely, that all this time away from writing has left me somewhat removed from my senses or grasp on that which I have put into question here, this thing called reality, or anything of the sort. On the contrary, the last several months have been quite intriguing on a personal level, and some harsh realizations have been made to come to terms with, but I'll probably go into that at a later point. No, I merely wish to raise a simple inquiry into what we as people think of the world we live in, this very existence even, something a little deep I suppose you could say, or perhaps even disconcerting, but I assure you as I'm sure you already know, this is a question each and every one of us must deal with.

It is a question of vast importance really, when you begin to think of it's implications. Because hidden away in that word lies all of the other questions that one may choose to debate, or even flee, in this life. This concept of "reality" contains the potential to shape our views on purpose, relationships, priorities, everything that makes us human really.

And so I here I ask, what really is this thing called reality?

Love.

That is our reality.

Now who could have seen me coming up with something like that...
I suppose at least it's nice to see even after so much time of not writing at least some things never change.

But seriously now. What else could it be? Alright yes, we live in a world consumed by war, by hate, by anger, by despair, and by sin. Even if we do not physically see it every single moment of every single day, even when we attempt to downplay these realities in our minds, that reality ultimately cannot be reasonably ignored. Especially when is so easily invades our very minds...

Indeed, it can be a very stark reality in which we live.

But when viewed for what it really is, the limits to joy simply do not exist.

We live in a reality solely dependent and in fact created out of and flowing from Love itself.

But how? How in this world with so much hatred and despair could Love truly be reigning in every imaginable and unimaginable avenue of this reality? I will tell you.

Because that Love is so great, so irresistible, so unstoppable, that it risked even the fate of humanity itself for the chance that each and every one of us might experience Love to it's utmost extent. For the possibility that we might finally just let go, let it break down us and every wall we have constructed, let it shatter every mask we have created so that we might just experience how indescribably awesome it is to be Loved. And to Love. To know Love.

Love put the fate of this reality into the hands of humans, and gave them a choice. To Love.

And yet just by looking around us we can see how miserably we have failed, and so have been cursed by it. Not merely the first two who were given this choice in the Garden, but each of us. A choice we were given, and a choice we have made and in ultimately failed in that choice.

For without a choice, could this unfathomable Love truly exist and be given a chance to touch as it so desires to, as some of us have experienced, and some of us so desperately need it to?

True, the world around us may not be fair. It may not be "fair" that all of humanity was cursed by the choice of the two in the Garden. It may not be fair that we are forced to deal with the consequences of those in power in this world, whether it be war or corruption or whatever else. And it may not be fair that we have to deal with the consequences of the choices of those around us, those we call friends and family, or even people we barely even know exist.

But is it really fair for them, too, to have to deal with the consequences of our choices?

It is fair that, by having given this choice, a choice we face every moment of every day, and in turn the chance to experience this incredible Love, that when we fail those around us must deal with the consequences of that choice?

No, it's not. It is not fair that we have been given this chance to Love at the phenomenal, potentially eternal, risk it places on the lives of others. And yet given it we have.

Not one of you reading this can claim not to made this choice.

And not one of us can say we have flawlessly dealt with this choice, this opportunity to Love. You may not have done something viewed to be as abhorrent as murder, but still none of us can claim never to have either lied, cheated, stolen, or failed to control our minds or tongues. None of us are perfectly faultless. We have all fallen short in making this choice, and so we and everyone else must deal with the consequences.

So we have been given this choice, and with it inherently comes a great risk.
And yet with great risk comes the potential for unspeakable joy, hope, and Love.

These are what makes the consequences of our choice so brilliant, because if in our failure we can so impact the lives of others, how much more so when we choose to Love?

Obviously, the reality of this reality is something I have very much had to deal with myself, and I must be honest. These last few months I have, however reluctantly, been brought face to face with the stark reality that we live in and the foolishness with which I have been prone to handle myself in this reality. The mind is a very dangerous thing, something each of us have to temper and control, and pride is not something that is easily conquered, nor is anything else that we find may find ourselves clinging to. Personally I have found it so easy to simply wish to have all of the answers, right in front of me, able to be clearly seen, perfectly outlined and easily comprehensible. And once comfortable in this train of thought I found myself very prone to become lost inside the mess that is my mind, often becoming cynical of certain things, downplaying others, rationalizing and reasoning my way through everything until I was complacent and pointedly analytical of everything. Overly so, I must admit. And I very simply began to forget that most basic concept of faith. That may not make any sense to you but to simplify it even still now every time I even think of the word "faith" it seems like a completely new idea to me. I knew it all, or I thought I did, the facts about that faith, about God, but that joy was not there, and the reality of Love living in and through me lost it's sharpness. I lost focus, suffice it to say, and the consequences of that are now painfully obvious to me. And I am thankful that by that same Love I was still blessed through it all in magnificent ways and have begun to come through it relatively whole, spared in ways I can't begin to imagine.

But anyways, what I meant by all that was that everyone in some way must deal with this choice and ultimately fails in some form or fashion. You may not see my ordeal as earth and life shattering as certain things you may have been through, and I certainly don't claim it to be and as I said I have been spared in ways I surely do not rightfully deserve. However, I think it brings up a brilliant point of perspective for the implications of this reality.

For me, I lost focus, and in doing so lost much of my joy and ultimately hope, hope of escaping such a mindset and eventually began to lose sight of the most basic aspects of this reality, such as faith, hope and of course Love. And really these things are what guide who we are, and as our conceptions of these things change so does our grasp on this reality. And in turn, perspective on our purpose and priorities.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Terrifying

"I want you to get swept away out there. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish. Yeah, be deliriously happy, or at least leave yourself open to be. I know it's a cornball thing, but love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say, fall head over heels, find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart…’Cause the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

So what’s a dervish again?

In the movie Meet Joe Black, Anthony Hopkins’s character uses these words to describe the passion he wishes for his daughter in life, where “lightning could strike,” as he would go on to say, at any moment and sweep her off her feet into joyous rapture and passion and love. I find these words a beautiful albeit humorous picture of the sort of joy and passion I wish for my own life, "to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish," and I imagine many of you reading this would as well The thought of such a life filled with constant excitement and adventure as we navigate the raging seas of life and desperately long and pray to discover love…

Trekking along day to day, week to week, year to year, it’s often difficult, I’ve found as I’m sure you have as well, to maintain even the thought, let alone the feeling and pursuit, of such excitement, such rapture. And this is true whether we are speaking of relationships with others or our faith. It’s not even so far as that we become ensnared in despair or hopelessness as much as contentedness, the comfort of routine, or possibly even what we see as coming to terms with reality. Not that these things are inherently evil by any means, however we must ask ourselves when comfort becomes complacency, when routine becomes apathy, when reality becomes compromise.

When we simply become so content with our current positions and situations that even if we begin to realize we have ceased our growth and progress, if we recognize that we have let our dreams and expectations slip even in the slightest, and then even if we have decided we wish to recapture that joy and passion, we never quite seem to get around to it. Not that we don't care, it's just that we're so wrapped up in this reality and putting one foot in front of the other that we cannot, or do not, summon the desire and fortitude to suck it up and start sprinting, throwing off and surrendering whatever needs to be in order to run, to jump, to dance, to overflow with rapture and passion. To strive for those dreams and expectations of love and joy that we once wished for just doesn’t have a place in our reality anymore. And for us as Christians, called to Love, to lavish, possessors of more hope than could hope to be quantified, even the idea of that overwhelming passion not being an integral, foundational aspect of our lives could be terrifying.

"I need to build my faith sometimes,
But I am so comfortable in mine…”
~FM Static

Work, play, school, even just life in general can make the pursuit of passion that we’re just too tired to even think about like we used to, or in our indecisive, erratic humanity we just can’t seem to keep that constant focus like we pray we could. It is hard, there’s no doubt of that; the reality of life is tough to be sure. But still, this is a reality that we must deal with quite often in the pursuit of anything we dream of, including the passion and Love our God wishes for us to grasp and strive for.

It’s not even that we find ourselves in the seemingly inescapable, desolate tunnel of utter brokenness. Maybe we really have reached a point in the race, in the pursuit, where we really are just tired. Or maybe we somehow find ourselves here and just don’t know how to get out of this place of terrifying comfort, where to even start, possibly because we barely even know how we got to this point in the first place. Any number of possibilities could lead us to the point where fiery passion becomes coals, not totally dead, but not exactly a blaze either.

And I’ll be honest, I don’t have even the slightest clue of how to 100% effectively combat this. I have no magical three step process to reigniting the passion of the pursuit. I struggle with this just as much as anyone.

But I do know this.
This is no way to live, truly live.
But I also know this.
We have hope.

Our God has never once in the span of eternity lost His complete and utter passion, His Love, for us fickle and complacency-prone people. He knew what we would be, what we would do, what we would become before He even created us, and yet create us He did. And even in our passion, even in our contentedness, even in our apathy, even in our doubt, even in our failure, the fires of His passion never die down. Even as we grow older, even if we view ourselves as completely different people, even when our mindsets, our thought processes, our ideas of anything and everything change, even when we begin to walk, perhaps even crawl, instead of sprinting with reckless abandon towards the Love He desires for us to experience, He is exactly the same God.

Exactly the same Love.

And if He has anything to do with it, I find it hard to believe that we can go very far at all before we are once again swept off our feet by His pursuit of us. Us, His love. Not that we can or should dilly dally around waiting for such a thing to happen, but at the very least with this hope we can remember. Remember our faith, our joy, our passion, our true hope and Love. And here we can somehow find that motivation and drive to strive and sprint, to cling to our desires and passion with conviction instead of compromise. To at least more than just want to. Because our God really does love us that much.

"Take me as I am, 'cause I'm going
I was too scared to start, now I'm too scared to let go
Take me as I am, 'cause I'm growing
But it's so hard to tell when I'm not used to this so..."
~FM Static

As Anthony Hopkins’s character put so well, if you haven’t found that passion in life, “well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

It is okay for us to find comfort and contentedness, but we must also remember the potentially terrifying difference and very fine line between these and the potentially terrifying concepts of apathy, complacency, and compromise. Jesus and the Love that He brought and taught was not set on simply being comfortable, in fact He shook, rattled, and rolled the worlds of people until their very foundations came crashing down and any comfort and contentment they thought they had all but evaporated, and His Love still does this. Neither is the Christianity of the Bible a faith of or for the complacent. And there can be no underestimating the importance of remembering the possible applications of these thoughts to both relationships with other people and a relationship with our God. So can we at least try? Because it really is all about the pursuit, and the pursuit really is all about Love. A Love that is so simply terrifyingly awesome that nothing is worth compromising it. And the very thought of doing so should be terrifying.

But then again…

“If everything comes down to love,
Then just what am I afraid of?”
~Addison Road

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