Friday, July 25, 2008

Ignorance and Bliss

Recently I have noticed a similar basic idea surfacing on the minds of several around me, so now I ask...
Which to decide:

To search for truth and risk ensnarement by misery or to resign oneself to uncertainty or insanity?

Otherwise known as the old cliche:
Is ignorance really bliss?

Should we ask the question if we don't want the answer? Or is it better to live in the peace of the moment?

Thoughts anyone?

Originally Posted 7/25/08

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Broken

Ever been in that place where absolutely nothing makes sense; where everything seems to be completely crashing all around you; where all you want to do is cry and scream and destroy a wall or something I don't know but just something to unleash all the hurt and pain and anguish and utter exhaustion but you simply don't have to willpower to do any of those things so you just sit there in pain and anguish and exhaustion and pray that you go numb?

Yeah. You could say I'm there.

The sheer insanity of life has caught up to me. I don't know whether this is just another phase of life or if it's the ravages of the war I talked about previously, and frankly I do not care in the least because right now I'm in that place where none of that really matters to me. For all of my "knowledge" and "wisdom" and "experience" and patience and will to hang on, I just can't do it right now. All I want to do is lay in my bed, curl up in a ball, and sleep my life away until it magically repairs itself into relative normalcy. I would kill for normal right now. I would give almost anything for it just to be put up on a shelf and left to fix itself and for me to never look back. And I hate the fact that I just am not the kind of person who can do that.

Why can't I just let it go!?!? I'm just so tired...so tired of fighting, of worrying, of stressing over things that only seem to bringing me down, of driving my mind into a depression that seems it will refuse to let up. And even when it seems to look like it might, just for a little while, oh wait here's something else so nope just kidding! That tunnel that does not exist...yep, I'm most definitely there. And I'm there alone. Why else do you think I'm here pouring my heart out where if I actually publish this the whole world can see my anguish and laugh. I don't want the pity, I definitely don't need it! So why am I doing this???

Why am I baring my vulnerability and failure and shortcoming and foolishness for the world to see??

Well one because when something is on my mind I like to write, and it just so happens that this allows me to vent in a way that is not physically harmful to anyone/anything.
But also because still, somewhere deep down, I pray that in my brokenness, in my pain, as I stumble through the darkness of the tunnel that does not exist, that someone can find hope. Find hope in my own humanity.

I am imperfect. I am a fool.
We all are.
And no matter who you are, where you are, what you're doing and where you're going, you'll find this tunnel. It is inevitable. Unfortunately, it's one of those sad facts of life, the result of a broken and fallen humanity in a cursed and doomed world.

But really, I am not alone. No matter how alone I feel, I am not alone.
But really, we are not alone. No matter how alone we feel, we are not alone.

Not only do we have the knowledge of each other in our own failure and humanity, but for those of us who are really blessed, we have the knowledge that there is this ridiculously awesome God who is so desperately in love with us. And yeah the words are easy, the reality definitely more difficult, but there is always a way that is provided for us. A crack in the tunnel. A flood of redemption. And white.

We may not see it for the tunnel, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. For is it the white that does not exist, or merely the tunnel? Interesting...

"What kind of damage could we do with this kind of knowledge...
What kind of suffering could we turn into hope...
What kind of bitterness could we turn into joy...
What kind of anguish could we turn into victory..."

So anyways I'm finished now. Please do not give me your pity, for even in this tunnel there is that chance to live and learn and be loved. And I have that knowledge, and the knowledge that really it will not kill me no matter how much longer it will continue to pain me. It'll take time, of course more time; of that I have no doubt. Maybe even more mental, emotional uncertainty and whole lot more praying. But as of yet, as the Word says, I haven't suffered yet to the point of shedding blood; and I am striving to continue the search for that "pure joy", for "the good". Because it's there, more real and more vibrant than any hopelessness of the tunnel that does not exist.

So do not pity me, but rejoice with me. Because I am a fool. And because no matter how lost I am in the tunnel that does not exist, I am not truly lost. No matter how alone, I am not truly alone.

And neither will you ever be.
Sorrow into joy.
So dive deep.

(And if you have no idea what I mean by the tunnel and things such as that, read "A Story" and it should make at least a little more sense)

"But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
John 16:32-33

Dive deep.

Originally Posted 6/17/08

Thursday, June 12, 2008

A World At War

So I just finished this book.

And in the back of this book was a section about what the main plot centered on: demon possession and spiritual warfare. Now bear with me on this one...

"There is something in human nature that just doesn't want to face the reality that we live in two worlds. We live in the physical, material world where we have jobs, read books, and go about our business. And we live in a spiritual world--and that is a world at war." John Eldredge

And this got me thinking...

We live in a world at war...

All around us, every minute of every day, a battle of epic proportions is being fought over the very course of history. Really over everything period. Now granted this war was already won approximately 2000 years ago on this hill known as Golgotha, but battle rages on. As the book puts it, "These are merely its death throes, raging through the darkness. The bitter outrage of a defeated beast."

And very rarely do we actually see the physical affects of this war, except for in the few and far between cases of actual demon possession, and even then we truly have nothing to fear because victory is already God's. But then I read something else that got me thinking about that too...

"The battle is not the point. Evil is not the point. The point is the love story. We live in a love story that is set in the midst of war."

A love story.
In the middle of a war.

The most epic love story.
In the middle of the most epic war.

Better than any movie, book, or stretch of the human imaginiation. That is our reality.

There is a God who loves us so desperately that He came down and died for us. And since Satan obviously can't overthrow God Himself, what better way to cause Him torment than to destroy that which He cherishes about anything else; that which He made in His own image, that which He loves so intensely, that which He calls His bride, that which He died for. How better to mock that sacrifice than to coax away that which was sacrificed for. And to see it go so willingly!

We are caught in a world of war. We may not always see it, but then what better strategy to have than to convince the lamb that the lion does not exist?
And what's more, we are warriors in this war! Fighting alongside the greatest love of our life for the very souls of those around us, for eternity itself. And that is our reality.

So this thought interested me...we are called children of God, those that love Him, those who are to don the warrior's armour and fight for the Great Romance that such great sacrifice was made, those who have accepted this as reality with reckless abandon and undying commitment and loyalty. Those who are called to fight on the side of our God in this epic war. So as Satan sits at his war table and ponders all of this, he gets an idea. He knows our every weakness, is an expert in the nature of humanity with all its flaws and brilliance. And so why not attack with this knowledge? If he takes us out of commission not only does he cause God more pain but He keeps us from completing our mission and takes us more or less out of the war entirely!

Why do you think James said, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds"?? Because the very fact that we deal with all sorts of crap in life just goes to show that we are a threat! And we can only prove ourselves stronger for going though it; though of course not having troubles doesn't mean we aren't a threat, just blessed to have a reprieve from the struggles of reality, however brief.

The devil knows our weaknesses, knows our breaking points and so do the rest of the demons. In work, in school, in our relationships, in our pride, in our self image, in our fears, in every single possible aspect of out lives. In our humanity. And when he sees a threat he will stop at nothing to neutralize it using every weapon he has. It is war.

This is war.

"The real question is what to do with evil that isn't so demonstrative. It's much harder to believe in an enemy you can't see, now isn't it? And what's more, it's working in a frenzy, every day, every hour, unseen except in the few places where it becomes overindulgent and exposes itself to the world. [Evil] is destroyed. In a place called Golgotha, two thousand years ago. These are merely its death throes, raging against the darkness. The bitter outrage a defeated beast." Ted Dekker

What kind of damage could we do with this kind of knowledge...
What kind of suffering could we turn into hope...
What kind of bitterness could we turn into joy...
What kind of anguish could we turn into victory...

We live in a world of war.

Just food for thought....

Originally Posted 6/12/08

Thursday, May 29, 2008

A Fool Among Fools

I am a fool. It is a recognition I have recently discovered and one that quite possibly may have the potential to be one of the most profound realizations any person may find themselves facing. And ironically this recognition is not in any way negative or debasing, but an opportunity to turn suffering into blessing, pain into joy. Foolishness into wisdom. To learn. To grow. This is what I mean...

Foolishness is an inherent component of the human condition. We are imperfect, depraved, prone to conduct ourselves in manners which only cause pain and suffering to ourselves and those around us; this is what allows us to learn and grow. I mean honestly, how often do we absolutely insist on learning the "hard way", indulging in our foolishness in hopes of reaping wisdom by our own means. But also how many times do we enter a situation, feeling so confident, so "ready", it sometimes even seeming like God Himself has reached down and placed something so good and great right into your hands, only to see it through and have it seemingly snatched away without even realizing what just happened. I mean, it was so good, so right, and yet the same God who had given has now taken! And here is where our foolishness bears itself for all to see. We cry out, we lash out, we blame, we criticize, we act rashly and foolishly and even just plain stupidly; we wonder why a God who is supposed to be so loving and caring and who is supposedly always looking out for us, who promised that He "causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose," would do something like this to us.

But that's just the thing.

He doesn't do it to us. He does it for us.

In our foolishness, we often cannot wrap our minds around the fact that truly all things do work together for good. Whether it is because of emotions or lack of understanding or whatever, whether we see it as a direct cause of something we have chosen to do or just another part of life, we find it so hard to believe that what is happening is really so good. Another great paradox. Sometimes we have to be hurt in order to really grow. This truth is everywhere: a field burned in order to nurture the soil and allow even more abundant life than before; a muscle broken down in order to build it back up even stronger than it was; allowing a doctor to cut into a body, to intentionally harm, in order to heal. In our foolishness, we are allowed to heal, to learn, to grow, returning even stronger than before. It is when we realize this, and the fact that we are fools, that we don't know everything, that no matter how much we believe ourselves to be ready we never really are at least not by ourselves within our own capacity, that foolishness begins to translate to wisdom. Our foolishness is a curse, yes, but also a blessing when looked at from the correct perspective. And the wisdom that comes with the realization that we are nothing but fools is a great thing to have, for there we find peace.

Peace with confliction. Peace within confliction.

And this is good. This is the good. Learning. Growing. Harvesting wisdom that perhaps we could not have had sown any other way.

I am but a fool. But I know my Maker is using my foolishness, my imperfection, my rashness, even my stupidity, to mold me, teach me, make me the man He has designed me to be.

I know I am a fool; I don't know all there is to know about this life and the interactions and relationships I will form and cherish and neither will I ever. But in my foolishness I have been blessed to have a God who will always be teaching me, even if when I cry out to Him it seems as though He has disappeared. Because yes, it will undoubtedly stretch my limited capacity for patience to its utter limits as time is an ingredient of unknown measure that is sometimes unfortunately essential to the process. Yes, it will test my composition and character and fortitude and willingness and obedience. But isn't that the point. Because He knows. He always does, because He is no fool. But as I am a fool, I can learn. And I am content with my foolishness. Sometimes we just have to search in spite of our foolishness to find that good. The good. Sometimes we have to dive deep. And it may burn, there is no question of that. We have to use our foolishness and whatever connotation and consequences that may bring with it in order to find wisdom. Otherwise what are we but fools wading in foolishness and hopelessness. And we are given this choice: to act as fools and fools only, or to strive to be more than such. And this choice is ours and ours alone. For love is the consistent underlying purpose behind it all, and without a choice love cannot exist. But that's a whole other spiel entirely (and oh how I so look forward to it!).

Peace within confliction.

I am a fool.

Originally Posted 5/29/08

Thursday, April 17, 2008

That's My King

These are the thoughts of a man by the name of S.M. Lockridge who in 1976 delivered a message that came to be known as "That's My King". I have here transcribed the words and also found an audio link (definitely recommended) if you click here. It may be slightly lengthy, but I promise it is most definitely a quality composition, and probably one of the closest ways to accurately describe in words the God I have come to know and love this side of paradise, implementing an incredible tone and style. Even if you have no idea who I speak of or who Lockridge attempts to depict, it is quite remarkable. Plus maybe it'll give you some sort of idea why many find so much worth in giving their lives to the notion of worshiping a man who was crushed by the Jews and Romans in one of the most brutal of manners known to humanity two thousand years ago (though as the story goes, I hear it just was not enough). But those who have met this guy before, this King, our King, you'll know what's being talked about. And I believe you will quite enjoy it.

My King was born King.
The Bible says He’s a Seven Way King.
He’s the King of the Jews – that’s a racial King.
He’s the King of Israel – that’s a National King.
He’s the King of righteousness.
He’s the King of the ages.
He’s the King of Heaven.
He’s the King of glory.
He’s the King of kings and He is the Lord of lords.

Now that’s my King.

Well I wonder if you know Him. Do you know Him?
Don’t try to mislead me. Do you know my King?

David said the Heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament show His handiwork.

My King is the only one whom there are no means of measure can define His limitless love.
No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shore of supplies.
No barriers can hinder Him from pouring out His blessing.
Well, well, He’s enduringly strong.
He’s entirely sincere.
He’s eternally steadfast.
He’s immortally graceful.
He’s imperially powerful.
He’s impartially merciful.
That’s my King.

He’s God’s Son.
He’s the sinner’s saviour.
He’s the centrepiece of civilization.
He stands alone in Himself.
He’s honest.
He’s unique.
He’s unparalleled.
He’s unprecedented.
He’s supreme.
He’s pre-eminent.
Well, He’s the loftiest idea in literature.
He’s the highest personality in philosophy.
He’s the supreme problem in high criticism.
He’s the fundamental doctrine of proved theology.
He’s the carnal necessity of spiritual religion.
That’s my King.

He’s the miracle of the age.
He’s the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him.
Well, He’s the only one able to supply all of our needs simultaneously.
He supplies strength for the weak.
He’s available for the tempted and the tried.
He sympathizes and He saves.
He’s a strong God and He guides.
He heals the sick.
He cleanses the lepers.
He forgives sinners.
He discharges debtors.
He delivers the captives.
He defends the feeble.
He blesses the young.
He serves the unfortunate.
He regards the aged.
He rewards the diligent and He beautifies the meek.

Do you know Him?

Well, my King is the key of knowledge.
He’s the wellspring of wisdom.
He’s the doorway of deliverance.
He’s the pathway of peace.
He’s the roadway of righteousness.
He’s the highway of holiness.
He’s the gateway of glory.
He’s the master of the mighty.
He’s the captain of the conquerors.
He’s the head of the heroes.
He’s the leader of the legislatures.
He’s the overseer of the overcomers.
He’s the governor of governors.
He’s the prince of princes.
He’s the King of kings and He’s the Lord of lords.

That’s my King. Yeah. Yeah.
That’s my King. My King, yeah.

His office is manifold.
His promise is sure.
His light is matchless.
His goodness is limitless.
His mercy is everlasting.
His love never changes.
His Word is enough.
His grace is sufficient.
His reign is righteous.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Well. I wish I could describe Him to you, but He’s indescribable. He’s indescribable. Yes.
He’s incomprehensible.
He’s invincible.
He’s irresistible.

I’m coming to tell you, the heavens of heavens cannot contain Him, let alone a man explaining Him.
You can’t get Him out of your mind.
You can’t get Him off of your hands.
You can’t outlive Him and you can’t live without Him.

Well, Pharisees couldn’t stand Him, but they found out they couldn’t stop Him.
Pilot couldn’t find any fault in Him.
The witnesses couldn’t get their testimonies to agree.
Herod couldn’t kill Him.
Death couldn’t handle Him and the grave couldn’t hold Him.
That’s my King. Yeah.

He always has been and He always will be.
I’m talking about He had no predecessor and He’ll have no successor.
There’s nobody before Him and there’ll be nobody after Him.
You can’t impeach Him and He’s not going to resign.
That’s my King!
That’s my King!

Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory.
Well, all the power belongs to my King.
We’re around here talking about black power and white power and green power, but it’s God’s power. Thine is the power. Yeah.
And the glory.
We try to get prestige and honour and glory for ourselves, but the glory is all His. Yes. Thine is the Kingdom and the power and glory, forever and ever and ever and ever.
How long is that? And ever and ever and ever and ever.
And when you get through with all of the evers, then,
Amen.

Oh yeah and for an abbreviated version with a little visual with it click here

And one last quote from to wrap up...

How can we know that what Jesus has shown us of God is the truth; or how do we know when we look into the face of Jesus that we are looking into the face of God? The answer is so plain and simple that it is a marvel how intelligent men can manage to miss it as they do. Look at what Christ has done for the soul of man: that is your answer. Christianity is just Christ - nothing more and nothing less. It is a way of life, and He is that way. It is the truth about human destiny, and He is that truth.
~R. J. Campbell

Originally Posted 4/17/08

Humpty Dumpty Sat On A Fence

Totally random thoughts to sort of go along with the spiel entitled "Paradox"...

There was a book I read once....kind of....that bears the title "Does God Exist?" One guess as to what it's about.
Basically what it consists of is a debate between atheist Kai Nielson and theist J.P. Morgan, and even in the very preface one can find an intriguing thought...

"The desire behind this book's undertaking was to bring to your attention many of the critical and life-changing issues that surround the question of the existence of God. We hope you will weigh the "pros" and "cons" carefully and rationally. Then make a decision--to choose a position or to engage in more reflection and study. But whatever you do, we hope you don't put the matter aside and press on with your life. This question is too great, too fundamental, too all-impacting to set aside. Indeed, to ignore is to decide--to decide how you will think and live...."

Then also later....

"Sigmund Freud's argument, though often shocking to believers, is consistantly logical: If religion is an illusion, it is the greatest of all illusions, in fact, a species of collective insanity, like the imaginary friend of a child who never grew up. The same is true, of course, about atheism if theism is true: It is the child's denial of the parent's existence."

And to wrap up something that may or may not really have anything to do with this...a little story to help you sleep at night

There was a large group of people. On one side of the group stood a man, Jesus. On the other side of the group stood Satan. Separating them, running through the group, was a fence.

The scene set, both Jesus and Satan began calling to the people in the group and, one by one - each having made up his or her own mind - each went to either Jesus or Satan.

This kept going. Soon enough, Jesus had gathered around him a group of people from the larger crowd, as did Satan.

But one man joined neither group. He climbed the fence that was there and sat on it. Then Jesus and his people left and disappeared. So too did Satan and his people. And the man on the fence sat alone.

As this man sat, Satan came back, looking for something which he appeared to have lost. The man said, "Have you lost something?" Satan looked straight at him and replied, "No, there you are. Come with me."

"But", said the man, "I sat on the fence. I chose neither you nor him."

"That's okay," said Satan. "I own the fence."

Originally Posted 4/17/08

Paradox

This is a great paradox of the universe:

Throughout history never has mankind failed, no matter culture or circumstance, to scour the heavens in search of some sort of Force or Higher Power, some sort of Being or Creator in the stars that is residing out there seemingly just beyond our reach. And throughout the millennia myriads of conclusions have been drawn concerning this peculiar curiosity, whether polytheistic, monotheistic, pantheistic, animistic, atheistic, or something that will here fall in the category of "other". Yet it never fails to astound me that despite all that searching never has one man, woman, or child truly found the One True God in those stars.

Now I qualify that statement: without doubt one may look at the stars and so be able to conclude that there is some sort of Deity or Power, to speculate about Him or It or whatever, and who can guess what mere observation may bring about in one's mind concerning the nature of that Power. But here I am talking about the Most High. The real deal. The answer to the question billions have asked themselves at least once in life. And who can deny that they have not also offered up even the simplest of prayers in the most the most desperate of circumstances? The thought of the existence of a all-powerful Being that is watching over us is a part of our humanity. So yes, the heavens declare His glory and majesty, as does all of creation. And it confounds me how any rationally thinking human could look outside on a cool autumn day when the sun is emanating radiance, the sky is the most brilliant blue one could fathom, and the trees are more grand a canvas than the most accomplished of artists' masterpiece, and yet fully reject the thought of a spectacular grand design composed by One whose only purpose in doing so is to declare His undying passion for His own, to illustrate how desperately He longs to hold them in His arms and wrap them in love that will stand and comfort for all eternity, even after the trees have lost their beauty and withered away to dust. How much He yearns for us to reject the same path our fathers have walked.

But those stars are not Him.

And yet even in our rebellion we declare His existence! What a thought this is! For how would one rebel if there was not one to rebel against? Yes, even our sin shows Him true! For why else would we call it "sin", or "wrong" or immoral" if there was not some sort of set standard that this fallen state of human nature urges we challenge? And why would man institute this measure of character if it goes against even basic instinct? Have you ever observed a child, how it must be reared in taught what is right and all the way it may do so only after strenuous struggle and perseverance, and still it will most likely rebel yet again! But still one can see Him if only they choose to look. And also does this resound His love, for our rebellion is yet another proof of the choice all humanity must determine for himself, for without choice how can love truly exist? Are we to be as mindless as the machines we construct? Or does the Almighty ache for us to return His compassion because we too ache to be with Him and declare His worth and honor to all?

But here maybe I have strayed slightly from my initial consideration.

This is a great paradox of the universe:
That throughout history mankind has scoured the heavens in search for the Most High. And whenever we think of some sort of Presence like this we almost always tend to look and think "up" and "out" there. And all along we need only open our eyes to the fact that He has been right in front of us the whole time, dashing for us with love that is unbounded; that He is all around us and we only need say the word and He will come into us as well, filling our hearts with His Spirit. An abstract thought? Maybe. But maybe also the greatest of realities one may come to discover.

To fully know the character of the Almighty and the true extent of the miraculousness of His love one may argue that man must also search deeper, for example into the Word that He has made available. But that discussion is not the one which I now address. Here is presented the most basic of ideas that the Creator Himself cannot be found in the skies. And yet of course He is there as He is everywhere. But never will we know Him just by staring off into space, for that itself is not Him.
The great paradox:
He can be found in our hearts. And then only when we allow Him to so reside there.
Only when we stop constantly looking up.
And when we start crying out.
And then begin to open within.
And then reach to Him as He is to us. And only right in front of us! Not across millions of miles, not only after we successfully navigate an impossible maze of set standards and rules and criteria that will make us "worthy". But He wants us as we are now. Anything else can come later.
The heavens in all their brilliance declare His glory and reflect His power, and yet they are nothing compared to He Himself; and it is what we do with the recognition of this that will ultimately make the difference.

Abstract? Yes.
Confusing? Most definitely it can be.
Worthy of thought? I think so.
One of the most astounding of realities? I leave that to you.

If nothing else, some interesting thoughts to consider.

"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world..."

"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Originally Posted 4/17/08